I express myself through words and photography. Not everyone can and my prayer and hope is that maybe by me being open, honest and raw, my words and photography will bless different people in different ways. Based on the number of comments, DMs and emails…I just know I am meant to share when I am ready.
This past year going through all this behind the scenes, I compartmentalized my life and poured into my social media at times when I was in a good place. When I was in my office, that was a safe haven for me as my work is a passion of mine. But balance (or the idea of it) has been a fleeting thought. Sometimes it takes walking through an experience and making the hard decisions in order to regain balance. I blindly took steps and am taking steps with faith and hope, knowing that there is more out there for me and if there wasn’t I still must step in the direction of my truth and stand alone.
I am someone who has to “get it out” as it is point of therapy for me. I journaled for a year as a form of expression because I didn’t feel like I could or should share this aspect of my life. I wrote letters, I wrote down thoughts and feelings, I wrote in my office, I woke up in the middle of night and wrote in bed, as I sat in waiting rooms and just poured out my heart in words. I read back through it now and I am blown away by the words that I wrote. It’s hard to understand unless you are in it. If it will allow someone else who feels like they don’t have the strength to keep fighting, then it is worth me being vulnerable and sharing. Life is funny. This struggle and pain has given me another passion and has ignited a fire in me that I didn’t know existed. I am not in the situation I am, with the skillsets I have, with the influence that I have by chance. I know that this and I feel this with every ounce of my being. I want to make sure a couple things are clear.
- Don’t tell me you are sorry. This is the right choice for me and it just took me time and strength to get there. People never know what to say–Some says “congrats.” Some say “I am so sorry.” Know that divorce has such negativity associated with it, but I am not sorry. I hope to share and be honest about it so that people can understand that sometimes divorce can be in the best interest for all involved. If it doesn’t that is okay I am going to keep doing me!
- I have a voice. Sometimes our points of struggle can be survival for others and that is a very real statement I am seeing played out right now first hand. So just keep following with me, friends. Know you are my strength right now. Keep tagging people in your life who might need to hear this message. This is why I am sharing, sometimes knowing you are not alone can bring incredible strength.
- This space is mine. For those of you who don’t believe in divorce, don’t believe I should have shared, don’t believe I should be sharing or representing something against society or religious or cultural beliefs, this is my website. I say this with all the love possible, but this is my blog. My words. My Instagram. My social media. This is my world. I always welcome varying opinions, but I will not tolerate the casting of judgments or hate in my space. Unfollow, unsubscribe. I am making very distinct decisions and sharing what and only I feel like is right for myself and my children. I am an adult and as I said last week, I am not longer dealing with unnecessary stress. 🙂 I know that the more my message hits home, or is controversial, the louder any varying opinions can get, but I am no longer dealing with judgements and criticism!
- Yes, I have moved. I am currently living at @dickersonhill (follow along there if you don’t) Announcements to come soon! I said goodbye to my home that I was in for the last 8 years and new things are on the horizon. Moving day was a day full of mixed emotions. I moved right after I had just battled a major health setback and to be honest, I know the emotional toll played a role as well. I just shared a picture from that day on my instagram here. Any major changes you grieve loss not just in the relationship, but in multiple areas. Community, home, memories, a vision for what your life has or would have been. It is normal and part of the process.
Love you guys! Thank you for being here. I know some of you have followed my life and blog for years and know I am so thankful for you! Each and every one of you!