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Pushing my body to limits I should not have….

So I overdid it! I can admit it and see it now. And I want my mistake to be a lesson to you. I pushed my body to limits I should not have and basically caused an injury AND my immune system to start firing warning signs. I knew it and felt it but I kept pushing. I am designed to push and I kept telling myself I am almost there keep going!

The gym and my office were two safe places for me this past year while going through my divorce.

I worked out 6-7 days a week. I enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment, the people, the environment, seeing sweatdrop, but mainly I felt like it was something I had control over. I try to control all things and circumstances and I am learning this is something I have to let go of! I had control over my output, sweat was instant gratification, and I was able to change my body by putting in the work.

The girl on the left is skinny, had zero muscle and was not healthy. This was January 2018. The girl on the right was me last week at the pool. Getting healthy again and inside not even the same girl. Stronger inside and out.

Most days I was doing a class, then cardio, and lifting. If you have followed my life this last year you would know that I hit it hard in the gym. Which was not necessarily a bad thing but I didn’t know when you stop! I know a healthy balance and I wanted to share this with all of you.

If you followed you know I had some major booty growth in 2018, which I don’t intend to lose but I do intend to do it in a moderate HEALTHY way. Your health and your body… YOU ONLY HAVE ONE! I was self-destructing my body and pushing it when I should have rested. You can even see on my Instagram @kristydickerson the highlight section of my growth under fitness and wellness.

In February of this year, my body started firing warning signs and I kept pushing. I basically have two separate things health wise. An injury I just have to rehab and my immune system has been doing something weird and I have been off being hypoglycemic, lacking vitamins among other things. I do think my immune system, was probably due to stress and lack of sleep and I am hopeful with the time that will iron out too because I feel I am heading in the right direction. I am better and just being diligent and listening. I am sleeping more which is a huge blessing! I operate off routine and I think I have just needed a consistent bed for my head to hit the pillow and I finally have that with my new home.

For this post though, I want to focus on my injury and show something women should be aware of because the more I learned it was a common thing! And for any of you that are wondering why my workout routine has changed THIS is why, while I rehab myself and not injure myself further! I am already 75% better! I would show you the CT scan but I will spare seeing the inside of me….. HAHA! On the report, it was noted I have Recti Diastasis from my belly button down to my c-section scar.

I had an emergency c-section with the first born due to breech and cord around the next. After my third, I felt my abs slightly separated from my belly button down to my scar. But it was not really noticeable and didn’t hurt at all and it was ever so slightly. With my new found stress outlet of lifting, I was also very keen on injuries and always made sure to do the right form but what I realize I was probably doing over this past year but not rehabbing what was only slightly there was compounding and making it worse. Well fast forward to moving day. Yes, I had movers. No, I hardly had any sleep and my body at this point was tired but I kept pushing. On moving day I actually woke up at 3 am to work on the computer prior. I picked up something and immediately felt my lower abs feel like a burning rip! I shook it off and kept going, but realized I had done something. To the point, I took Advil and Tylenol rotating and I don’t take pills like that ever! I then noticed a slight vertical line on my lower abs and lived off pain meds and a heating pad for about 4 days. I had no idea if my other symptoms were related to this and after days of it not getting better CT scan revealed Diastasis Recti from my belly button to my c-section scar. YEP, I separated my abdominal muscles! Honestly, I was thinking they were going to see something worse which is why my immune system was firing but completely not related. It was a relief, to be honest !!! I can be a slight hypochondriac and I had self-diagnosed myself with dying thanks to google. haha!

Meet with a surgeon and he said surgery would fix it but with your dedication, I think you can rehab it. So friends that is what I am doing… like a boss! Undoing damage that I did to my body! I am pacing and rehabbing and I am ALSO now informed on exercises I should have been avoiding. But the reality of those exercises I was doing them in class over and over again.

So here is a couple of things I have learned and one thing I want women in particular to know.

1. I 100% overdid it in the gym. I was putting too much on my body physically without recovering and getting the rest my body needed. I can say and see all this in hindsight. At the same time…. it saved me in so man ways because I was in some bad spots last year. I just could have had other outlets and should have!

2. Women, if you have kids this can be something that happens to you and you should be aware of. My c-section was also a weak point for my abs. Then 3 babies. Then all the moves my surgeon told me I should be avoiding I was doing over and over weekly in classes and had no idea I was honestly just making me worse and setting myself up for that injury.

3. There are other ways to have outlets. My outlet was either a drink or two with friends or a gym or work. Yes, I am admitting that! There are other options than the gym. There are movies I could have watched, trips I could have taken, yoga and KD you could have asked for help and not be so stubborn. In hard times, I put my head down and worked or went to the gym and lifted.

So for the next 30 days, I am back in the gym but rehabbing myself and learning a new found pace! Rehab moves daily!

And no it is not noticeable to anyone with me in a bathing suit it is only something I can feel and I am not lying in two weeks I am 75 percent better just by resting and listening and knowing what I should and should not be doing. So my point of this post is yes workout. Yes, ladies lift with proper form. Have outlets. But don’t overdo it. Have boundaries. If you have any sort of abdominal separation from pregnancy which is VERY common look it up and do rehab moves! When your body is firing warning signs… listen! And slow.

Just sharing my life with all of you! Learning as I go! I know time will heal me both physically and emotionally. I also know from these experiences that I felt like I from all of it was not going to see my 33rd birthday. Not to sound dramatic, but the road I was pushing myself down by not sleeping and overdoing it that stress was taking its hold on me. If anything it is reminded me of the purpose and mission behind STARTdetoxing, on why I share and why I am so open. Reminded me of what STRESS can actually do. On good stress on bad stress. On you can’t really be healthy….. despite eating clean, drinking high PH water, taking probiotics, etc…. that if you don’t deal with shit going on in your head and heart you won’t sleep and you won’t be healthy.

My calling right now is to share….even though this is something I am admitting I messed up! It is for a purpose bigger than me. I hope my vulnerability is something that makes you feel a little less alone. I have been the girl out of shape and needing to lose weight after babies. I have been the girl that struggled with skin issues and food sensitivities. I have been the girl that had immune issues and explants explanted my breast implants and went on TV and talked about it. I have been the girl that had zero immune system problems for just over a year last year and I pushed myself too hard and started resurfacing problems I could have probably avoided. I am a girl that has walked many valleys and it has equipped me with empathy that cannot be taught.

And for the last 90 days, I have been the girl fighting for my life and normalcy and health. I have been broken in a couple of different areas and I am also the girl that will fight and be back and have hope to fully recover and heal. And for a second if you look at a woman and think dang is proud of her body in that swimsuit. Know you are right. I am proud of. I am proud of my journey. My scars. My lessons. My mistakes and I am damn proud of my understanding of health and wellness and it is not muscles I am proud of but the woman. I could have folded. I could stay in a circumstance ignoring.

So yes I am damn proud of the woman that is smiling in this picture…. not for the abs… but for the strength in ultimately for the first time in a long time 100% being true to my soul and authentically being raw and sharing with what I know the universe is urging me to do and who to be.

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